Birthday Wishes
by morgana07
Summary: Part of my 'Not My Sammy' series. On the road for the first time, Sam struggles to give Dean the perfect birthday gift. No angst, no drama, just some brotherly fluff.
1. Sam's POV

**Birthday Wishes**

**Summary: **A short two chapter piece belonging to my 'Not My Sammy series' as Sam and Dean spend Dean's birthday on the road and Sam struggles to find the perfect gift to give his brother.

**Warning: **Minor swearing in the 2nd chapter. No violence in this one.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**A/N: **While working on Mirror Images, I decided to give Dean a birthday story and while I'm sure I'll probably do a couple versions I hope everyone enjoys this one.

SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN

**Sam's POV:**

'I'm twenty-six, dude,' those words still ring in my head as I remember the night my brother shot them back at me. It was a lifetime ago it seems at times but it's only been six years. Six years of pain, of heartache, of loss, of betrayal, of sacrificing our lives for one another and six years of my brother always being there for me.

Tonight's been a bad night for both of us. It's been about two weeks or so since we left the safe haven that was Bobby's house to go back on the road. It's been two weeks of it just being us again without Bobby acting as a buffer and two weeks of just being…brothers again without all the hassles or walls between us.

We've handled one simple case of a salt and burn two states away from Bobby and it was enough to remind me that I hadn't hunted in over a damn year. Despite the four years, I'd been away from it while at school, the injuries, the pain and the weak muscles were going to make it harder this time to get back into it. Dean promises we'll start training again as soon as I can do a light PT without passing out or throwing up. Until then he's grounded me into mainly research and weapon cleaning.

Tonight we crashed early even though I was doing fine but I knew why. I'd been trying not to sleep the past couple nights because I kept having the same dream and he wanted to sleep in a real motel instead of the car so he'd have a better shot at controlling my nightmares…and because today was his birthday.

Dean turned thirty-two today and unlike the other times that he'd spend it in a bar or with some cheap thrill he'd picked up, he was braving it out with me since he downright refused to leave me alone.

We both knew we had targets on our backs by the rest of the Campbells. Ignoring the fact of what they'd done to us…to me, which was Dean's biggest reason to hate Mom's family, I'd killed our own grandfather and that was bound to draw them to us eventually.

So on top of the increased traumas I faced every day, the nights were the worst and Dean, who was back in manic hyper over protective big brother mode, just wasn't taking the chance of leaving me so he could have a few hours to himself. I'll feel guilty over that in maybe a few years. Right now, I'm still uneasy if I don't know where he's at or I can't see him.

That's mutual though since if I step out of his line of sight for too long or if he doesn't know where I am, Dean goes into fight mode. Hell, he about took out a waitress in a diner when she stared at me too hard. That's when I first realized how much he was burying because Dean only flipped out like that when he was stretched too thin.

I wanted to do something for his birthday. Go to an actual restaurant or something but he'd just shrugged it off and said he'd go out for diner food. I still wasn't eating as well as I had been but for Dean, for tonight, I did eat the full double bacon cheeseburger and fries he brought back and picked at the salad since despite his teasing from before he was trying to push more greens on me. I noticed that while he made sure I ate, he only picked at his.

For Dean, his birthday was just another reminder of the family we'd lost. I knew that was why he spent it usually at a bar or something so he wouldn't have to think of Mom or Dad, the things he'd lost or the things he'd never have.

I knew that Lisa had called him today because he was tense while he talked and wouldn't talk about it after he hung up. She didn't understand my brother. Lisa was a good woman and while I had hoped when I went into the Cage that she could help Dean find that normal life we both always wanted, I know that he'll never settle down like she wants. Hell, he killed a garden gnome. Yeah, Dean's great but he's just not the 9-to-5 type. I wish he was but if I'm honest with myself I have to say that I still dread the day he decides this is a mistake and he'd rather be with her. I have dreams about that and I think that scares me more than even the dreams about that warehouse in Lawrence with the shapeshifter or what I endured at the hands of others.

Dean's in the shower now so I'm debating on the wiseness of my gift idea. Finding something for my big brother has never been easy. Dean's not the tie or cufflinks type and considering that I will never be able to make up for the pain and trauma he's gone through the past six years I can only hope what I did decide to get him shows me how much he means to me. How much I appreciate what he's given up and sacrificed for me and what he's still willing to do for me.

It took a lot of work to find what I wanted and I'll never know exactly how Bobby did it but as I sit the newspaper wrapped box on the bed closest to the motel room door I hope he likes it. My hand shakes as I sign the card, lay it next to the box and manage to roll over to pretend to be asleep as the bathroom door opens and Dean comes out dressed in a pair worn sleep pants.

I know the moment he spots the card and the box because I can hear the way his breath catches and I wait to hear the sarcastic comeback or smart remark I figure will come but after a long moment of silence in which I don't hear Dean move or say anything I begin to worry I'd screwed up again.

Shifting uneasily while pretending to be asleep, I decided to roll towards the other bed to see his face when I suddenly feel the edge of my bed dip under his weight and I struggle not to tense until I feel the familiar touch of Dean's hand on my shoulder and his voice finally spoke.

"Thanks, Sammy," he murmured and I wonder if it's just how tired he was when I heard it shake until I felt his hand move to my neck to squeeze it like he normally did. "I also know you're not sleeping but I'll let half of what you put in the card slide…so long as you never think it again. Got it…bitch?"

Swallowing hard, I shift enough to look at him and see that my brother's green eyes had more emotion in them than I'd seen since waking up at Bobby's after Lawrence. "Yeah…jerk," I tell him then take a leap when I mutter softly. "Happy Birthday, Dean."

This time I feel him tense a second before he sighs and moves back up against the headboard, clearly planning on sitting on my bed for awhile which means he knows the nightmares will be coming. "I…love you too, little brother," Dean tells me in a voice he rarely uses except with me lately. "Now, shut up and never make me say that until your birthday."

I laugh and fall asleep with my brother's voice nearby and the gentle clicking as he opens and shuts the engraved lighter that had once been our Dad's until he'd given it to Dean on his eighteenth birthday. Dean had lost it sometime during that year after he made his deal and I knew how much losing it had hurt him so I'd finally been able to give something back to him.

'Good night, Dean," I mutter, feeling his hand still on my neck as I fall asleep fully with relief that my brother and I are safe for the moment even though I guess I should tell Dean about the other dreams I've been having. "Happy Birthday."


	2. Dean's POV

**Birthday Wishes**

**Dean's POV:**

'I'm twenty-six, dude,' I still remember saying that to Sammy the night I went to Stanford to get him. Twenty-six seems like a lifetime ago after all the crap and stuff I've gone through these past six years. Now when I think of that man, I wonder where in the hell he went cause I barely remember what it was like to be that free.

Today I'm turning thirty-two and sometimes I still feel like the sixteen year old without the answers my little brother needs. Normally since the year I was old enough to fake my way into a bar, I spend my birthday in a bar or with a woman. This year…this year I have Sammy to think of and after what happened the last time I left him alone, I have no intention of going out.

It's been two weeks since we've been on the road and Sammy is still having issues with some things. I won't let him handle actual fieldwork until we can get some serious training in but that'll wait until he can stay up through just a simple PT routine or he doesn't puke his lunch up. It's those moments that I wish I'd hurt those bastards more than I did because I hate to see the fear and pain in my little brother's eyes or knowing he thinks he's letting me down.

I wanted us in a real motel tonight because I know he'd been trying to stay awake so he doesn't have nightmares and I want him to sleep. I also want to be able to take a drink after I get him to sleep so I don't want to be driving.

Sammy's pacing the bedroom which means he nervous and I figure I know why. He knows I normally go out on my birthday and he's been trying to get me to go out but I won't. I can't take the chance of ever leaving him alone until I handle the threats to him.

Turning thirty-two briefly makes me wonder how long I'll be doing this. Lisa still wants me to come back but I can't. I meant what I said to her at Christmas. I'm not a 9-to-5 person and if I would've kept driving that pickup much longer it would've ended up in the same shape as that damn possessed garden gnome. I tried the whole normal life but my normal is 6'4" with more heart than brain at times and is pacing the bedroom while I'm in the shower.

Lise means well but it's been me and Sammy since he was six months old and it'll be me and Sammy until I'm put in the damn ground for real this time. Now if I could just get him to lay off the guilt trip he's been on since Christmas I'd be happy.

Turning off the shower, I throw on some sleep stuff and notice that Sam appears to be sleeping…yeah, right and I'm a Smurf. Sammy hasn't gone to sleep that easily in months. He's pretending to be asleep but why's a mystery until I spot the card and the box on my bed.

'Sammy,' I whisper to myself. I'd told the kid not to get me anything but I suppose I should've known he would. That's just the way Sam is. Touching the card, I decide to open the box first to see what kind of geeky gift my geek-boy of a little brother found at the motel gift shop when I feel my breath catch and my stomach flip.

Taking the highly polished but still worn looking silver lighter from the box, I don't have to turn it over to know what I'll find or what it means. Dad had a lighter engraved with the Marine logo that he gave to me when I hit eighteen. It never failed to catch on the first try and had burned more bones than even I like to think about, then during my final year I'd lost it somewhere and I think that bothered me slightly less than leaving Sammy behind because I'd wanted Sam to have something from Dad.

Running my finger over the worn Marine logo, I feel something on the other side to notice a new engraving and I feel my eyes burn as I read: 'Dean, the most awesome big brother ever. Sam' and I feel the urge coming to toss my no chick flick rule again but push it back until I open the card.

It was one Sam made on that little printer he attached to his laptop when we needed to print stuff out and it was a picture of us that Bobby had snapped sometime when he could catch us both in one place when we weren't fighting. It wasn't the 'Happy Birthday Dean' that made me choke but the handwriting inside that threatened to bring me to tears again.

'_I know you'll make fun of me and the card but hey, my big brother only turns thirty-two once so suck it up, Dean. I know the lighter isn't as much as you deserve but it's all I could give you this year since you wouldn't just tell me what you wanted. _

'_Dean, I hope you know how much I wish I could take back all the pain and loss I've caused you to suffer. You're my brother and I love you. I wish you hadn't lost so much the year I was gone and I hope you don't regret not going back to Lisa but…I really don't think I could do this on my own yet so I hope you're staying because you want to and not out of guilt. I promise to try to take the stress away and not depend on you so much and I'll get back to being the partner you deserve and not the annoying little brother you have to wrap in bubble paper like you have been. Happy Birthday, Dean and…I'm glad you're still my brother even after everything you've learned. Love, Sammy.'_

Swallowing the emotions that I feel building, I narrow a look over at my supposedly sleeping little brother before moving to sit beside him. He's awake and the not knowing what I'm doing or thinking is driving him nuts so just as I see him begin to move I place a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, Sammy," I tell him and try to ignore how my voice shakes when I move my hand to his neck. "I also know you're not sleeping but I'll let half of what you put in the card slide…so long as you never think it again. Got it…bitch?" I put in for effect, waiting to see what he'd do.

Sam nods after a minute before turning to look up at me and I still can read so much by looking at those big eyes that I know I'm not going to get out of a chick-flick moment. "Yeah…jerk," he replies then offers something that I can't toss back at him. "Happy Birthday, Dean."

Dad raised his sons weird so I know what those simple words mean in Sammy-speak and as I leaned up against the headboard since I know he's worked himself up over my birthday and the nightmares would hit tonight with a damn vengeance. "Yeah, I love you too, little brother," I mutter, watching him roll over to fall asleep as I add. "Now, shut up and never make me say that until your birthday."

I hear Sam laugh before he falls asleep while I fall back into the habit of flicking the lighter open and closed while he settled against me as he had been doing since I got him back. I hear him say 'Happy Birthday' again in a sleepy voice and wait until he's asleep to let my hand move from his neck to card through his hair with a sigh.

"Sammy, you'd already given me what I wanted for my birthday, kiddo," I murmured softly, knowing he's keeping his dreams from me again and deciding that starting in the morning it was time to get him training slowly again and to find out what the hell's scaring him that he won't tell me. "Not having to cope through another birthday without my baby brother is the best gift I could've gotten."

Pocketing the lighter, I lean my head back against the wall to plan. I have five months to come up with something extra special for Sammy's birthday…and since I promised Bobby no more fireworks I'll have to think of something else. "Thanks, little brother," I tell him and relax for the first time on my birthday and not regretting my choices to go back on the road with Sam. Now if I can keep the Campbells the hell away from him and make sure Bobby doesn't destroy his kitchen again I'm good. I hope.

**The End**


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